Porn is love you can see.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
