Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
