What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
