Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
