i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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