I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
