you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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