that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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