The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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