I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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