Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
MIDGETS
????
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
