I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Drunk is not a location!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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