My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
