but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
