my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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