so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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