that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
