Whod you bang
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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