Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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