Me. At least after what I've been through.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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