Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
