I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
