Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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