My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
so much tequila, so little girl.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
