That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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