Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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