Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
