...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
