so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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