So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
