why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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