Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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