Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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