all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
