Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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