Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
