Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
