I just made out with a guy for $7.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Randomize
