Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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