We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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