We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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