Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
