Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So much rum. So many feels.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
