I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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