I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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