hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
