i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
