I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
