Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
