My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We talked him into tasing himself.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
