Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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