marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
