maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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