so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
