I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
