i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
