Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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